Monday, August 29, 2011

Care and feeding of the Elusive "Space Tweep"

The "Space Tweep," scientific name Homo nasaobsessivous, is rare creature, early in its evolution cycle. Evidence supports the theory that it emerged as an offshoot of Homo nerdicus and Homo geekorolosus sometime in the mid-2000s. Some evidence points to their origin as early as 1961, however, the species lacked any tribal behaviour or social coherency until the dawn of Twitter in 2006.

It may be difficult to identify the Space Tweep from other human beings, as they are similar in appearance, but there are several important differences to be noted: firstly, the Space Tweep will frequently be seen frantically typing on a smart phone or other mobile communication device. This is their lifeline to their tribe, and if cut off, they may lash out irrationally, and even become violent. While they exist in a plethora of varying climates and ecosystems across the globe, they are most comfortable in their natural environment - Kennedy Space Center, in Florida. Space Tweeps feel an instinctive pull to this place, much like birds who migrate south for the winter, or salmon who return to the same breeding grounds season after season. On a launch day, Space Tweeps will be out in full-force, and, indeed, this is the best time for spectators to catch a glimpse of this elusive creature, as their sheer excitement will bring them away from the comfort of their home computers and into public, to witness the spectacle. They are drawn to launches as a moth is to the flame - some studies have suggested they are literally incapable of resisting. This rivals even the survival instinct to these Tweeps, and they will frequently wait for hours - even days - in adverse environmental conditions just to get a glimpse of ignition. Beware, however - the Space Tweep is often a pale creature, and exposure to the elements may cause their skin to burn and redden, a condition known as "shuttle burn."

The Space Tweep can survive for days on nothing besides sheer enthusiasm and excess rocket fumes. However, after some time, it may become necessary to provide additional sustenance to the Space Tweep in the form of pizza, cheeseburgers, or Coke Zero.

It is not recommended you keep or domesticate a Space Tweep, as they will hijack your computer, eat all your bandwidth, and break out of any containment efforts meant to keep them inside on launch day.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


I've been playing with you for awhile now, but I've yet to actually make the PLUNGE. Sure, I have a LiveJournal, but that's more of a personal diary, not a true BLOG. I also micro-blog on Twitter, because hey, who doesn't? And I've been on Facebook so long, most people tell me my Social Network ID Number is too short to be valid.

But these are all "Blog Lite (TM)."

Why have I been waiting so long to start an ACTUAL blog?

Really, I don't know. Perhaps it's fear of failure. Lack of topic/inspiration, maybe? To be fair, I'm not sure I even have one now! But I know that I have opinions coming out of my ears, and I find lots of REALLY interesting stuff on the internet. While there are plenty of existing places I can use and link or photo dumps, as it is, the sort of commentary and viewership options they off don't fit exactly what I'm looking for.

  • I like to order samples and try out new things, evaluate their quality and effectiveness, and let people know about them.
  • I like to follow developing news stories, investigate the circumstances, and let people know about them.
  • I like to watch TV shows and movies, thoroughly analyze the plot, writing, characters and directing, and let people know about them.
  • I like to ponder imponderables, come up with complicated crack theories that I can TOTALLY back up, and let people know about them.
  • I like to do awesome, amazing, random things - the sort of things you do just so you can say you did them - and let people know about them.
  • I like to go on photo adventures, to take my camera, and document the world through it in various albums, and let people know about them.
  • I like to try new cooking and baking recipes and recollect it all down in words, disasters and all, and let people know about them.

So. From those conclusions, I've drawn my purpose - I like to live life, and I like to tell people about it. I love to write and use words to convey my experiences, but if I have no audience, I'm just a mad woman. (Which I am not explicitly denying and an inherent truth, to be clear.) But I'm a mad woman with no purpose.

I intend to make this blog my purpose.